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The Kiss Remains Standing alone I sway Until she catches me in her arms She is warmth and love And she is longing and desire I turn my face to her And she catches my lips into hers She is the match that carries a glowing fire The solitary drink to quench my thirst And at long last she relieves me For just one minute she is mine The woman I have longed to hold Now holding me back I am completely taken from myself And thrust into this euphoria of her presence Then I wake My heart is weakened And my senses still numb Yet still I smile Because although the dream has disappeared The kiss remains - Tiffany Suzanne Bowman

AUTHOR BIO JAMES SCHWARTZ is a poet and slam performer striving for the simplicity of Cavafy mixed with modern gay wordplay and elements; Schwartz's poetry / slam material dialogues of GLBTQ issues and affirmations of gay (night) life and love. James Schwartz was born 2.19.78 and raised in the Old Order Amish community in SW MI. where he currently resides. Schwartz is the author of several poetry chapbooks including THE SCARLET BAND AND OTHER POEMS (2005). Most recently Schwartz's poetry was published by POETRY LIFE AND TIMES.COM (March, September 07 issues) and THE RAINBOW GAZZETTE (June, September 07 issues). A JAMES SCHWARTZ CYBER READER http://ajscyberreader.tripod.com A JS GOSSIP BLOG http://jsgossip.blogspot.com  COLD AND OTHER STORIES BY JS http://coldstories.tripod.com  RESH REMIXED BY JS WRITING AS RESH ALEPH HEY http://reshremixed.tripod.com HOUSE OF HOSKINS - THE OFFICIAL APRIL HOSKINS WEBSITE http://houseofhoskins.tripod.com    Clubbing Dark smoky cabarets are secret worlds Populated by the tacky, camp and lonely Shadowy men smoke glowing cigarettes Illuminating carefully culivated stubbled faces White Christmas lights blink in corners Blonde mavens add that Hollywood glamour This is our world on lost weekends Catty gossip over electronica songs The DJ has my memories. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zebrajox (PLUR Remix) What becomes a poet most? His cloak or his quill? His powdered nose, the life he chose Or his prose about a wooded hill? See his chic poetic cloak? See the raver poet from Burr Oak (DON'T CHOKE!) Spitting topical, the homohop head A case of zebrajox in his bed White and black, black and white Electronica and candlelight Raver boys and thug appeal Poet's always keep it real. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cabaret Days She's beautiful as she steps onstage Another Saturday night at the cabaret The audience applauds her presence Her blonde mane Her powdery face Her sequined gown Everyone clinks cocktails glasses together Screaming for her magic Which she dazzles them with As the lights dim And her liquis lips mouth to Something old Something new Something borrowed Something blue One by one everyone creeps near The stage to offer tips of money and revel in her ungrateful smile. -------------------------------------------------------- 2.8 (DJ Resh´s Paris Nights Remix) I´ve become a right lad lately. Wafting about Auto Zone. Fluttering down the accesories aisle. I´ve become a boy´s boy of late. Tropical Rainforest air freshner. Wax. Working it out at the car wash. Sleek, black, chic as a Paris night. A 15" purple "beater stick". It plugs in to the cigarette lighter port. It pulses. Cruisin´through the cityscape. Other boys eye the queer: Pimpin´it out like a lad. I´ve become a right lad lately. Other hot rod boys rev their rides. An invitation: man on man. "Pimp A Poet´s Ride: DJ RESH" Sleek, black, chic as a Paris night. Red tail lights in the distance...

love ?if love is patient if love is kind why do we hurt why do we cry if love doesn't boast if love doesn't envy then why do some hearts feel so empty if love is great all we want in life will it come so easy or will it fight is love long lasting is love forever does love fade away and come back better is love chosen is love deserved is love given is love reserved if love is proud if love is true then why are we scared to say I LOVE YOU, loves not a game cards to be dealt love is a feeling that needs to be felt

WITHOUT LOVE It’s never easy to turn off love in your heart, there’s nothing to guide you, where to start. Finding a way, to let go of each thought, harness emotions, and not get caught in that flood of despair that plays with your mind, there’ll always be fragments of love, still there to remind. The absolute heartache that racks you inside, leaving you helpless, with nowhere to hide. Those empty feelings making you feel like hell,         often lonely,                  lost as well. Without the love, that was your shining light, days fill with darkness, no sunshine in sight. The tears that flow freely, are your only release, as you wonder if this anguish will ever cease. Time-out might be the only key to setting your reluctant heart free, so be gentle on your fragile soul, searching for courage to once more be whole. The pain, you will continue to feel, but give your heart a chance to heal. ©R.Schmutsch 2006

When people say "It took my breath away" What is it that they mean? The evening I met you I hadn't a clue what to expect. You had emailed me an old pic Of you and your boy, A pic too of your girl. I had to imagine what you'd look like The night we were to meet. The Coffee Club Aspley was the venue For our first meeting. I had arrived nice and early Not knowing what to expect, Then when I saw you walking toward the Club, I knew I was meeting the 'ONE'. The sight of you took my breath away, My heart skipped a beat, In fact it skipped several. We sat for hours and spoke, As if we'd known each other for ages. Eventually we said goodnight And went our own ways. I knew right then you were the 'ONE' for me- To grow old together and make a life And hope one day you'd be my wife. Since the morning you told me to pack my stuff, I've felt that I was never good enough. That terrible morning was the beginning of the end, My heart broke into a million pieces Never able to mend. It's been nearly six months Since that fateful morning. I still can't think about you Without feeling I want to die. But I've brought all this upon myself, Because of those terrible lies. The whole time we were together I never wanted to be with anyone else. Even as we are no longer One I've not wanted to be with anyone but you. I'm in two minds as to what I should do: I want to contact you In an attempt to ask for 'US' to have another go. But every time I think of you, I fall apart like a broken glass. It is said, "You don't know what you've lost until it's gone" This is not always true. I knew what I had, I had the only one in the world for me. As the days go by, I find I'm still terribly in love, With the woman I wanted to be my wife. I will always love you, And be in love with you. For now and forever, I love you.

ON FIRE I had been waiting for you. You captured my imagination, became my seducer and I am hungry for you. Your words caress me, set me on fire. Your lips drive me wild with promised pleasures. I feel your hands, stroking, teasing, fingers probing deep inside. My body yields to your every desire I explode beneath you. When you kiss me gently, I am ready for you once more. Please, stay awhile. ãR.Schmutsch 2002

TEMPTATION Harmless flirting,                  no  such thing. Temptation in every word.                  Sensual kisses,               igniting fires. Ethics swept aside,               when  desire burns. Oblivious to all,               play the game. Challenge  all boundaries,               take all risks. No rationale in passions heat. Unguarded heart, compromised, no retreat, hungers for more. Get too close,                           Game Over. ©R.Schmutsch 2006

MISS YOU You can’t begin to know how painful it was today, to be in the same room as you, and not have the intimacy, the familiarity in the way that we so often shared. I can put on a brave face,   ©R.Schmutsch 2006

Regardless, Love.. Sacred night, stained by the soot from chard floors. It was a beautiful fire. The lovers bound together by a piece of tarnished twine, lay nestled under a tweed blanket, that doubled as a rug. Red wine still dripped from to cracked glasses that were knocked over by bare feet, during the time of the moon. Honey eyes, tinted violet by the dawn, blink awake to stare into the ocean waves that were her desire's eyes. The crashing of the water on the shore was her true loves heart beat again her own. And for the first time she noticed how the freckles danced across her beloved's face. She wrapped her arms around the body next to her and pulled it close to her chest. "This is our first Good Morning" She whispered. The women beside her turned her head and smiled. "I would rather spend an eternity sitting on your window sill watching you sleep, and be jealous of the moon because it would be able to kiss your face, then to go on with life not knowing for myself, exactly how sweet you taste." She watched as the salt water filled her wife's waves. Leaning down she placed rubies on a pale pink pillow and took a small nibble of flesh with her tongue. "This must be what love tastes like."   By: Class Dismembered...

EMPTINESS What do I do with this emptiness that washes over me, the minute you walk out the door. I fall apart, every time, unable to hold back the flow of tears. You come to me, sharing special moments of warmth, that could be reserved for lovers, but, you always leave, and I am left in limbo each time. I want so much for you to stay, just a little longer. My agony is not knowing, if you will ever return, Yet, you always do, and I am whole again. ©R.Schmutsch 2006

"Sweet Goddess Divine" A silent saddness seeping in softly, forever in this noisy din... Myriad of wonderous, daily reality... Overwhelming me, pushing me, making me spin! And yet I must smile as I breathe in your heartbeats, blending and flowing, enveloping me... Pulling and stretching, opening doorways, Creating All that You want Me to Be! Goddess, my Mother, my Angel, my Power! In all passing moments, each second , each hour... Encompassing, passionate, aching with Joy... I meld with You, Loving You, and become One with You, Anchoring into You... Sweet Goddess Divine! Kathy G. Martinez Seattle-WA 5/19/04

Angel I'm alone yeah I don't know if I can face the night I'm in tears and the cryin' that I do is for you I want your love let's break the walls between us Don't make it tough I'll put away my pride Enough's enough I've suffered and I've seen the light Baby   You're my angel come and save me tonight You're my angel come and make it alright   Don't know what I'm gonna do about this feelin' inside Yes it's true loneliness took me for a ride Without your love I'm nothing but a beggar Without your love a dog without a bone What can I do I'm sleepin' in this bed alone Baby   You're my angel come and save me tonight You're my angel come and make it alright Come and save me tonight   You're the reason I live You're the reason I'll die You're the reason I'll give When I break down and cry Don't need no reason why Baby baby baby   You're my angel come and save me tonight You're my angel come and make it alright You're my angel come and save me tonight (Yes you really are) You're my angel come and take me alright Come and save me tonight Aerosmith 1997

"Dreams" Into the outer reaches, I dive... Storming headlong at full sail. Quivering within the depths of my Being. Rushing...Rocking...Reeling! I soar out amongst the clouds, Dreaming Sweetness.... Dreaming of You! Khata Martinez  08.22.94

Always know that you are… Welcome in my day… Important in my life… And cherished in my heart. By Violet Ann Langley

~ * ~ Your hand resting languidly on your belly...my eyes drawn to the area of exposed skin. Seeking permission to touch; it is granted. Thumb & forefinger moving slowly in graceful circles across your abdomen. A slow search and find, as each article of clothing is slowly removed...Surprise coursing through my veins, daring me to reach further. I want to just keep running my fingers across your body, to learn it with my fingertips...the taste of your skin on my tongue, achingly sweet, remembering so I could write you later. Your soul bared and naked, your body beautiful, like a poem in motion. I lean over and tug; Victoria's Secret is revealed.  Caught up in the intricacies and simplicities of your body, trying to remember how to feel, to bring your beauty within myself, to begin weaving a tapestry of thoughts and images attempting to catch them all. But somehow they manage to seep out and between my fingertips, unable to be held. My eyes flash open in the dark, where am I? Return to the here & now, your breath soft and even...my hand rising and falling with your breath. I kiss your shoulder, your back, your hip, fingers trailing in my wake... and wonder at the stark beauty of it all. Trying to take it all in, because who knows if I will ever see it again? My arms reaching out tentatively to hold you, pull you closer.  Hold on tight,  holding on and finding within this embrace the nothing that is everything, the reason for which my world revolves. Stealing kisses in the darkness, enhanced by night-lit beauty...falling asleep with the world in my grasp, knowing the comfort found in another's breath; the warmth beneath a fingertip, a cheek. And this is where the heart could lie... ~Janay Castain 1/7/03

~  *  ~ I went to her once again and sat with my good arm awkwardly around her, trying to comfort her, fingers trailing lightly over her back, tracing the contours of her bone structure. Abruptly she rose and went to the bathroom. When she came back, I noticed that she had washed her face and removed her bra. She climbed into bed, and I slid in next to her, my body draped across hers. I touched her face with my fingertips and she kissed me. We made love that night, half knowing that it would be our last time together as we were. One last time, so intense, so emotional, so careful. I kissed her eyelids lightly, raining soft kisses over her flushed face. My breath touching her skin, my lips finding hers, meeting in a desperate kiss full of our need, which tasted like tears. We had no words for each other, just ardent movement speaking with urgency. I pulled her thin tee-shirt over her head, running my fingers across the beauty of her body, capturing her in my mouth, my tongue sending electric shocks through her body. Breathing heavily, she rolled over, so that her body was atop mine. She tugged my boxers off with one hand, her mouth heavy on my skin. My body welcomed her as she slid into me, my eyes closed, heart pounding, soul melting into the experience of love, my breath catching in my throat. We continued long into the tumultuous night, bodies moving together like the ocean tide, the moon keeping careful watch over two troubled lovers. ~Janay Castain

Like A Candle Burning Out A monologue Written by Chris Shapiro (Walking from the hospital room) It's hard to live with the knowledge that you've killed someone, especially someone you love more than life itself. But then again I won't live for long anyway . . . Before her I was with another person, the one that took my life or would soon. A virus, they would say is what killed my Clancy, but I'll know they're wrong. It was I.  (closes eyes, taking a shaky breath) She's so fragile now, so small. Her eyes once so bright, clear and laughter filled have long since dimmed and drained of that over powering light and beauty. I remember walking with her at night, under a full moon, being one of the few couples out that late, and seeing the moon shine in her eyes, reflecting her smiles and laughs, which she always seemed to have, until now . . .  Her once radiant hair, red and fiery hangs limp and lifeless. Strings, that's what it is now, no longer bright red locks, fall over her drawn and pale face. I used to run my hands through it, loving the softness of it against my skin. She let me brush it and braid it at night, It was a favorite thing of mine to do and I was the only one she let do so. She once would laugh and sing, happiness an orange glow, soon akin to a brilliant light filling even the loneliest of hearts, like mine. Her laughs could fill a room of frowning people, and they couldn't help, but smile. Now there's just the faintest flicker of light in her eyes like a candle burning out. It pains me to say, to live with the knowledge that it was I, I that stole her inner beauty and made it vanish. Made her glow of brilliant smiles and laughs fade. I knew it was most likely true that I had the one thing capable of destruction of taking a life so pure and true, from the one person that loved me. But I let my greed and lust of flesh and beauty overpower my will to let live. I already knew my life was short, but hers was long and capable of showering others with that surpassing beauty of heart and mind, and I stole that precious gift by lying to myself and her about the results of what the doctors told me. I knew the bitter truth about what ruined me. That the AIDS were tearing up my insides, bringing along an unwelcome death and I took the probably as a no. And now I watch that light, that ever glowing light, flickering in her eyes like a candle burning out.  (tears start to form) No longer will I hold her, will we talk and laugh, like those long hot nights or at a picture show. All that remains where her light and laughter once was is an empty shell.  (Tears fall) And the bitter irony is I think she knew even when I denied it. And when she found out, she shook her head and smiled, forgiving me even as she died. I can't forget that day we went in together, suspecting something wrong, and the low voice of the doctor as he told us of our fate. My Clancy was dieing, and had scarcely a year to live. Her eyes went wide and she trembled, then did the unspeakable thing. She comforted me. And I cried, my tears fell fast and hard, without pause. But we went on together. She didn't leave me as I deserved. And as I walk alone in life and grow weak and tired, I hear her laughs and see her smiles, but I know I'll always remember her once beautiful and emotion filled eyes flickered, like a candle burning out.

To All My Sisters     To all my sisters who have touched my life, these things I want to say... No words can ever truly express, what your love and support means to me.   The Goddess within, You see through my eyes... HER energy felt through and through. I lovingly share and not just with one, but with those whom SHE approves...   It is SHE you see in your lover's eyes... It is SHE to whom we belong. It is GODDESS MAH who created Life, and the warmth that is felt from the Sun.   Give Thanks and Praise to Goddess above, for all that SHE's given to you. Stay strong in your Faith, Stay true to your Love, To thine own self be true.   With Blessings, Kathy G. Martinez 12.02.02

Tammi & Her New England Womyn

Subject: Resume For Employment  Dear Ma'am I understand you are looking for someone with a touching heart. Someone that will give you all their total love and support for the rest of their lives. I hear you need to be held and loved, snuggled in the middle of the night, held close and kissed ever so lightly when the storms roll in. I hear you are looking for someone to take strolls on the beach, to watch sunsets and sunrises with in the morning dew and in the twinkle of the night. I hear you would like to hear the pattering of little feet as they awaken you on a beautiful Sunday morning as you lay in bed trying to get just ten more minutes of sleep before another day begins. I hear you want someone to love, that will love you back with all their heart and soul and share with you in the most of intimate moments to last not for lifetime but to infinity. I hear these qualifications are hard to find these days ma'am. I 'm just a good'ole southern girl living in a new land. Things have change rather quickly for me and somehow I kinda managed to get lost in the shuffle. But I think I am finding my way out again. So I guess what I’m trying to ask you ma'am is, if the position is still available, I really would like to fill it. I may not always understand your way of thinking as I said I'm not from around these parts. I sure would like to explore them and maybe settle down. Buy some land have a family and give a nice New England womyn my love and support. That is ma'am if you'll have me.  Best regards,  Your Southern Star  where I will never stray  and I promise will always show  the way to a new beginning with no ending.

Along the blue horizon There sails a “ship of hope”. A looming mast of weathered sails To keep a dream a float.   Relentless are the winds That steer this ship of tide, In search to find a stately mate, Searching far and wide.   But soon the winds of change Will catch these weathered sails, And steer this “ship of hope” away From rough and stormy gales.                                              Mory T.  2002

Lamentation I lament for the child I never was I lament for the man I will never be I lament for the self that I am not I weep for the innocence I can no longer remember I weep for the wife I will never have I weep for the love for which I seek I pray for the parent I will not become I pray for the child I cannot sire I pray for the heart that is dying I look for the hope that will bring me back I look for the silence that is slipping through my hands I look for the light that has been snuffed out I wonder what the sky will look like when I am alive again I wonder when the ice will melt away I wonder if they will ever see I try to be the one for him I try to be the one for her I try to be the one for them I wish to keep breathing I wish to understand I wish to fall away I surrender the control that was never mine to give I surrender the hate that they had no right to cultivate I surrender the life that brings only death I struggle to keep afloat I struggle to push ahead I struggle to see past the end of my nose I dream of a life less privileged I dream of a life richer in peace I dream of a life without darkness I yearn for the stillness of a sleep without dreams I yearn for the touch of a gentle love I yearn for a world without walls and chains I strive to live a life of virtue I strive to live a life of sin I strive to be everything and nothing I find myself covered by a cloak of petty torments I find her trapped in a cell of light I find him floating away on the celestial winds I trust that this is only the low point I trust that one day my world will realize I trust that I will be gone when it all falls apart I feel the tug at my soul that is his call I feel the sting on my cheek that was his scorn I feel the ache in my gut that is his absence I lose the battle I wage against injustice I lose the motivation to be the eye of joy I lose the strength to forge ahead I lack the resources to build a sanctuary for my spirit I lack the cruelty to give them that for which they look I lack the power to make it stop spinning toward the brink I give what I can to him I give everything to her I give what cannot be given to myself I fall in love with the idea I fall out of love with him I fall out of his favor where I am in love I catch her as she falls I catch him as he runs I catch myself as I begin to believe I pretend that this is something more than existence I pretend that pain is merely a catalyst for growth I pretend not to see him smiling coldly as he holds another I take what I can get from him I take them for all that they are worth I take the light from the mouth of the infant I change to suit his desires I change to suit her needs I change into that which I loathe I ponder the condition of the spaces within I ponder the difference between "right" and "wrong" I ponder the distance between our hearts I cry for the future that frightens me I cry for the past that haunts me I cry for the present that enrages me I lust after the man that is conjured up by idealism I lust after the man I pass on a street in a city I lust after the man who is smoke and mirrors I cringe away from the man that is beneath the packaging I cringe away from the man who assaults me I cringe away from the man I awaken to after the illusion I reach out to the mother who cradled me I reach out to the father who bruised me I reach out to the Earth who raised me I long to find a better side to my coin I long to leave this all behind I long to find the peace of stepping out of character I let go the collar I held around his neck I let go the sickness I planted in my heart I let go the strings attached to all I have ever set forth By: Matthew Takemoto 2002

"SMILE, I've got pride" True friends can be like rainbows They are there before the storm And after the rain, they are there shining... What's at the end of the rainbow? Is it a pot of gold or something else? Maybe it is love, luck, friendship... RED--is our love flowing ORANGE--is my life starting YELLOW--is the sun shining GREEN--is all luck glowing BLUE--is a bright sky showing PURPLE--is the friendship growing So join the colors of the rainbow Spread it all around Make someone smile! Live life Love life You are lucky :) By: Christina Eastis 2002

 

THE STORY OF US   From out of the clear blue, I could see a cute lady in my view, I watched her move, As she began to grove. My eyes were set upon that certain one, As I looked at her I thought "my that looks like fun." From deep inside this quiet soul of mine, Came a feeling I couldn't resist; she so fine. Watching the grace of each step made, Yet this feeling didn't seem to fade. Time passed by, my eyes on her stayed fixed, Then to my surprise, my confidence and voice were mixed. My body began to grove, "What am I trying to prove?" I put my rythem into motion, Trying not to make any commotion. So I stood up straight... I am gald I wasn't too late. I slowly appraoched, nervous as hell, Thinking of what she'd say, I couldn't tell. "How about you drop those glasses and dance with me?" From then on, who knew what would be. The words flew out of my mouth like never before, Holy Shit, we made it to the dance floor. The night went on, I continued to glance, At the very lady that I had asked to dance. Our lips touched each other, I began to mutter, My knees became weak, as I melted like butter. I looked at my friends starring in disbelief, Our lips were locked with no sign of relief. Then the music stopped, it was closing time already, It seemed we had just begun to dance nice and steady. The night couldn't end, I didn't want it to, Time passed so fast, the night just can't be through. I was at a loss, "what am I to do now?" So, as words exchanged, we left together, wow! Dispite the snowy night and blustery weather, I was feeling as light as a feather. My truck left without me and I left with her, My goodness, "what am I doing, I'm not sure." So we drove to my place, arrived quite late, At 2 o'clock, eek we woke up my roommate, Cause the ones with the keys had yet to arrive. Although sleepy eyed, she was happy we were alive. Well she opened the door, Not knowing what was instore. So I looked in the mirror, "what are you doing?" My reply faint, "who are you fooling?" So be it no more, I am not a gnome, I went to greet the one I brought home. As I walked towards her sitting there, Eyes captivating my soul, I couldn't break the stare. As the night proceeded into morning, We hadn't given anyone any warning, Gathered in the kitchen, the four of us sat, Our hair so bad we had to wear a hat, We talked for many hours of so many things, Yet I felt I could have flown even if I had wings. For it seems I've found someone unique, My golly-gee what a wonderful physique. It's amazing we all got along so well, Let it be known I'd catch her if she fell. So it was a great time, as fun was had by all, My only thought as we parted, was, to please call. Now since time goes by so fast, and 2 years have past... This love we share will surely be strong and last. We have been on many adventures, thru thick and thin... As we look back now and say, "What a wonderful heart to Win". andameyannov 2002

SEATED UPON A ROCK                                                     I PEER OUT                                                                       TO THE OCEAN ,              MY THOUGHTS ARE FAR                                                   AND WIDE , A SEA                                                                               OF DEEP EMOTION.           I FEEL AS THOUGH                                          I’M DRIFTING , THIS ISLAND                                                                                         ROCK AND ME ,          ON A COURSE , WITHOUT                                                   A SAIL , TO GUIDE                                                                                 MY PATH AT SEA.           JUST WHEN I FEEL                                     I’VE LOST MYSELF                                                                WITHIN THIS RAGING SEA,             THE CRASHING SOUND                                              OF INCOMING TIDE                                                                 DISTURBES MY REVERIE.                                                                                                  M. T. 2002

 
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